


It's only time

by HigaAJ



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 22:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/918963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HigaAJ/pseuds/HigaAJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Whether we see each other, next weekend or next month, never again, it doesn’t matter, it’s only time” (q.a.f.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's only time

**Author's Note:**

> This came, after thinking how would be their relationship in the future. This is the result. I hope you can give it a chance ;) This fic is dedicated to my wonder woman: Hashi.

It was past midnight, and Marco couldn’t sleep, the only sound in his room, were the clock hands that continued their course. That sound influenced his thoughts, making him back in time: Traveling at night, making the night itself, accomplice of his romantic escapades. The wind from other place on his face, a casual cigarette. Sometimes taking the plane, waiting for the landing and then run into his arms, just for a brief moment, that would seem everlasting in the way Mario hugged him. Those long talks and a cup of coffee in winter. His smiles and the sparkle in his eyes. His sense of humor, those jokes that never got old. Bizarre anecdotes from old times. 

Everything, absolutely everything. Even the occasional fight for a trifle. His temper tantrums that reminded him why he loved him. Those small details that, nobody could see but him. 

He was immersed in memories when his doorbell sounded insistently. At that hour it could only be an emergency. He didn’t even saw through the peephole, he just opened the door…

-Tell me it’s just a rumor…

Marco couldn’t believe his eyes; but he was there at his main door, drunk, desperate and sad… His hair made a mess, his clothes made a mess. 

-Mario… 

-I want to hear it from you! – the younger insisted. His gaze seemed lost. 

-Don’t say that – Marco hated to see him in that way – just come in. 

If he were someone else, maybe he just had closed the door, and maybe had yelled at him, saying something like “grow up”. But inside, he knew he would never do that. The blond helped him to reach the couch, in where Mario laid back. His head was on the cushion. 

-You’re not okay – Marco said, even when he was sure he wouldn’t remember a thing – You have to stop. I’ll get you coffee or something – he turned back and gave some steps. 

-Why?

That simple question made him stop; if like Mario had pulled him by his t-shirt. 

-Because I can. 

After a couple of minutes, he came back with a small tray and over it a cup of coffee. 

-You need to drink this. 

-I don’t want it – Mario rejected it, turning his head aside. 

-Don’t be such a baby.

The younger just drank one sip, making faces. Marco took the cup and put it on the small table in front of them. Mario didn’t stop looking at him. The blond noticed it, however he couldn’t do anything.

-Listen, you need to sleep, ok? – Said to him softly – Everything will be alright. You can use the couch. 

He left one small lamp turned on. 

**

By the morning, Mario felt like shit. His neck hurt, his back hurt, not even to mention his head. 

He could hear some noises from the bedroom. He stood up and went into that direction. When he opened the door, Marco was with his jeans half button up, with his torso naked. And then he saw his bed. So many nights. Marco’s touch was so tender. His fingertips caressed him. The warmth of his body during the long winter. The growing passion with the lights off. The magic, the epiphany. Mario used to waking up with Marco’s breath in his shoulder, and a sweet “Guten Morgen” from his lips. And that morning kiss, that was a kind of energy to start his day. 

Then he realized he forgot to knock. But he never had the need to do it before. 

-Sorry. – He said a little bit ashamed. 

-Don’t worry, I almost finished – The blond back to what he was doing. 

-Does it mind you, if I use your shower?

-No. 

Neither of them made a comment from the night before. It felt like there were miles of ice between them.  _Like two strangers who knew each other very well.*_

When Mario got out of the shower, he saw in the night stand a glass of water and some soluble aspirins; and in the bed some clean clothes. 

When he was well dressed, he looked for him. Marco was in the kitchen, making breakfast for them. 

-How do you feel? – said with the pan in one hand and with a wooden spoon in the other. 

-Good, I guess, thanks. 

-Well, sit. This is almost cooked. 

Mario felt uncomfortable. They only shared odd looks, and they were like watching every movement and didn’t make a mistake. When they finished eating, he offered to do the dishes, but Marco told him: “You don’t have to do it anymore”. He just closed his eyes. 

After that, he saw the blond moving from here to there in the living room, until he found his car keys. 

-Where are you going? – asked him confused. 

-I’ll drive you home. 

All the way to Mario’s house was made in absolute silence. The younger had his gaze glued in the window, just watching the landscape. At every traffic light Marco looked at him out of the corner of his eye. 

When they finally arrived, the blonde was the first to talk. 

-Here we are. 

-Can I stay for a few minutes? – The younger said almost immediately. 

-Mario…

-Please.

Marco turned off the car. It was too risky to be like that. His fingers danced over the steering wheel. He was nervous, maybe because it was a long time since they weren’t like that: just in silence, feeling the presence of the other, or maybe because Mario wanted to talk about what happened yesterday. And if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to say a word. 

They were a little bit more like that, until Mario finally spoke… 

-I’ll take your clothes back. 

Marco felt a certain relief, but he also wasn’t expecting exactly those words.

-It’s ok, and you know it. 

When the younger got off of the car, he didn’t even want to look back. It’d have been more painful. Maybe that was his last chance, and he ruined it. 

He didn’t knock at the door, because someone was waiting for him already. When the door opened, a woman with short blond hair and an angry look welcomed him. 

-You took too much time to get off of his car. 

-Good morning, for you too – Mario said rolling his eyes, and getting inside the house. 

-What were you doing? – The woman followed him through the hall. 

-You shouldn’t ask, because I could see your silhouette from the window.

Finally, both got in the kitchen, revealing who was sitting in his little high chair. Mario softened his eyes only when he saw him. The baby was taking his feeding bottle; Mario came to him, and left the baby to take his pinkie in his small hand.

-Where were you yesterday? – She asked with a hand in her waist. 

-What do you do now? Spy on me? – Mario opened the fridge, and took out a bottle of water. 

-I called you several times, until Marco answered your phone. He told me, you didn’t feel good and you were going to stay at his place. 

-And? –he raised an eyebrow, like “I don’t care”. 

Then she saw his wet hair, and his clothes. For her was pretty obvious. 

-I just want to know one thing, - She crossed arms, her voice was changeling – Did you sleep with him?

-What?!  - He almost spit out the water – Why do you say that?

The baby was uneasy; he probably felt that something wasn’t right between his parents. 

-Because I know why you wanted to come here for vacations. It wasn’t for your parents. 

-You don’t know anything – Mario looked away. She was getting on his nerves. 

-I do! – Her voice was louder – I know what he meant… -she corrected herself – what he means for you!!

-Shut up!!

Mario exploded and the baby started to cry, and she ran to carry him. 

 -Don’t you see it?! – He looked straight to her eyes – I’m doing my best for you, for the baby –pointed both hands to them – and you just make the things harder on me!! 

-I’m sorry, I… - one lonely tear run through her cheek. 

-I can’t stay here – He shook his head, took his keys, and got out the house. 

-Mario, stop!! – She yelled, but he couldn’t hear her. 

**

-I didn’t know where else to go – Mario said, once the door opened in front of him. He had been driving like mad, but he needed someone to talk. 

-I should have imagined it – the taller winked at him. 

Kevin left him in. He closed the door, and he turned back at him. 

-I recognize that t-shirt. 

-Of course you do. 

Both laughed. 

Once they were sitting comfortable on the living room, Mario started the conversation. 

-Since when did you know? – He ran a hand trough his hair. 

-I’m sure much earlier than you, but I guess that’s not why you came here. 

-I don’t want him to go – his voice sounded desperate. 

-Nobody wants, but he’s made a choice. Marco feels he gave everything he could possibly give to this team.

Mario didn’t even bother to answer. Just one simple rule and he broke it, he just nodded. He was fine at Bayern, of course, but, he never thought Marco could leave Dortmund… 

Kevin thought that maybe his words could hurt his friend, but it was necessary. 

-Have you talked with him?

-No, - Mario raised his eyebrows in surprise –at least not in a properly way – he sighed deeply. 

-You screwed it this time, uh?

-It was what everyone was expecting from me. 

-Not everyone – his tone was serious. 

It was when the younger started to remember. Maybe it was a point where everything broke. It happened one day, when Marco went to visit him. He went of shopping, and when he arrived, were bags and packages everywhere. 

_-It feels nice to have another pair of snickers, what do you think?_

_-Great, but still there’s something that we can’t have, at least not biologically._

He could see his gaze change in a second. 

_-But, you also know there are other options._

_-It’d never be the same._

Marco sighed, like giving up. 

_-Mario, if you want an excuse to end this, you should think harder._

_-What are you saying?_

_-I’m saying that, if that’s what you want, a family that I can’t give you, I think it’s time for both to take different ways._

After that moment they used to argue more often than usual. Until he stopped have someone to argue with. Marco left him free, thinking that if it that was his wish, he couldn’t do anything, but let him be happy. Mario realized how selfish and arrogant was. But, it’s one of the hardest things to know: what the nature of your heart really wants. 

Then Mario remembered the first call to the National Team, after he and Marco hadn’t talked for quite long … But after all, he was a professional. Nothing could interfere with their work as a team. They were  _good,_ he thought, but not like it used to be. Still friends, but not the kind of friends who tell secrets to each other… 

He was so stupid. What was he thinking? He thought Marco would be always for him, no matter what. And even when he kept his promise, this time things were extremely different. Maybe he got tired… tired to wait. After that moment, when he “woke up”, the World Cup had finished, and even when they couldn’t win it, they played extraordinary matches and he could make new memories. Marco and him, had great moments, and it was like nothing had ever happened. 

Until now…

Kevin had to clap to making him react.

-Hey! Come back to earth!

Mario blinked and half smiled.

-You still have a few hours before he’s leaving. You should call him – by then, Kevin had a magazine in his hands, and he was just scanning it.

-What do you mean? – Mario scowled.

-He leaves tomorrow – said simply.

-You’re messing with me, right? –the younger had a face of “I can’t believe it”. He jumped from his seat in a second.

-Where are you going? – Kevin asked him, like if he didn’t know the answer already.  

-Have to find him.

**

Mario called at his house, but just straight to the answering machine. He tried at his cell phone, but nothing.

“Think Mario, think” said to himself, he could drive like crazy over the whole city, or just wait at his apartment, but he couldn’t wait any other second. He truly needed to talk to him. He felt overwhelm, and it wasn’t exactly for the heat of summer, it was because he felt frustrated. Too late to realized about _everything_. But a ray of light put his thoughts together.

When he arrived to  _that_  place, could see him, leaning against the hood of his car. He seemed so relaxed, like if anything in the world could interrupt him from that amazing view. That stadium, in where both had irreplaceable days of glory.

He walked until he finally stood next to him.

-I knew you were here.

-I came to say goodbye.

They stayed like that, just like they did on Marco’s car. Without say a word. Just feeling the breeze. Just being them.

-I want to talk to you.

The blond felt a déjà vú. And he saw him, those big almond eyes. After all this time he had that dreamy look. Marco used to think that were things unsaid, but he couldn’t be regretting all those unspoken words. He had to move on, in somehow.

-But I don’t.

Mario was shocked.

-Listen, I just want to…

-I don’t want to hear you!

-Why?! Just give me one reason.

-Because if I do it, I will stay and I’ll have a lot of troubles.

Mario swallowed hard and started to cry silently, so did Marco. He wanted to jump into his arms so badly. Let Marco kiss him; be loved for one last time. Send the world to hell, because his chest was burning with  _that_  indelible feeling. Then he calmed and touched his right pocket, and from his wallet took out a small photo.

-I just want you to have this.

Marco took it from his hand. It was a picture of Mario and his little son.

-You didn’t have time to meet him.

-He’s just like you – the blonde smiled beautifully.

-Don’t you think it’s too early to say that?

Both started to laugh, even when the marks of the tears were still on their faces.

-What’s his name?

-Marco…

_“You’re gonna have a great life without me. Today, tomorrow and for a long time”**_

**Author's Note:**

> *From Big Fish film. 
> 
> **From Gungrave anime
> 
> It was hard to write this, but it's the way I feel nowadays about those two. I wish things could have been different, but they weren't...


End file.
